about be teetotal
This blog is a way for me to tell my story about alcohol addiction and will eventually form part of a book to help others and raise awareness.
It is important for me to tell my story for a few good reasons:
I myself have never had an interest in alcohol and drinking. Growing up I always thought the concept of longing for the weekend to go and get plastered was absurd! (‘Plastered’ - intoxication via consumption of alcohol). Yet through (mis)using alcohol as a self-medication tool I became dependent upon it.
My addiction was well-hidden, there are very few people who know I had an issue with alcohol and even fewer people who know the full extent of what I went through battling it. I was high-functioning meaning I held down a job, studied, lived an awesome life doing lots of cool stuff and had several intimate relationships, which although affected by my drinking to a certain degree, were never ruined by my addiction.
The story of my addiction is not what most people will associate with addiction or 'alcoholism'. I think it's important for society to begin to understand addiction and dependency issues outside of the misguided narratives that currently permeate our thinking on the subject. I was not a 'wine-o' in a park constantly drunk day and night drinking high strength cider from a paper bag. I was an every day person doing every day things, but at night on my own an overpowering and terrifying addiction consumed me.
The struggles of substance addiction are real! They cannot be compared to addictions of habit that do not involve a drug. Alcohol’s negative side affects are still today not widely publicised enough, and I feel it is time for more information and stories to be told in order to warn others of the dangers of this glamorised, legal, poisonous and addictive drug.
I believe that my mother’s unconditional love for me growing up and as an adult gave me a resilience I know not everyone will have. My story includes lots of examples of encounters with professional bodies and people which were hugely disappointing from a support point of view. In respect of mental health issues we push people towards professional services, yet in my experience, these have often been lacking. I know my mother’s love gave me an inner resilience that allowed me to bounce back from every knock down and continue in my fight to beat this addiction. I know not everyone will have this resilience so easily available to them.
I want to raise awareness generally of the dangers of alcohol.
I also want to let anyone who is currently battling an addiction know that you can beat this! And you will beat this!