“Alcohol is a drug and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly”

“No level of alcohol consumption is safe”

“It’s not your fault you want to drink, alcohol is a powerful and addictive drug that’s not only legal, but enmeshed in our everyday life.”




“We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present.”


"Alcohol erases a bit of you every time you drink it. It can even erase entire nights when you are on a binge.


Alcohol does not relieve stress; it erases your senses and your ability to think.


Alcohol ultimately erases your self."

"...alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify not taking"




"The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self-destructive behaviors. But trauma doesn’t have to be a life sentence."


This blog began as a way for me to tell my story about alcohol addiction and will eventually form part of a book to help others and raise awareness.

Originally I thought that I could keep the addiction and the reason for it separate with the aim of writing about the cause at a later point in time. However, in the months since releasing this blog it has become apparent that it is important for me to talk about the why behind my troubles with alcohol. Without the reason there would most probably not have been a struggle with alcohol.

The reason I became dependant on alcohol to sleep was because of a Post Traumatic Stress symptom from childhood sexual abuse that was very overwhelming and challenging to manage. Despite seeking professional support to get help with the symptom, no therapy at that point in time helped and literature on healing PTSD was not as readily available to the public as it is now.

I feel compelled to tell my story in order to:

  • Let others struggling with alcohol problems know they are not alone and that they can get through

  • Educate those who have never experienced an issue with alcohol on the dangers of alcohol

  • Let others struggling with the impact of sexual abuse and/or PTSD (any trauma) know they are not alone and that they can get through

  • Educate those who have never experienced sexual abuse or PTSD about the underlying emotional and mental torment that someone goes through in order to heal from such extreme life events


I believe that my mother’s unconditional love for me growing up and as an adult gave me a resilience I know not everyone will have. My story includes lots of examples of encounters with professional bodies and people which were hugely disappointing from a support point of view. In respect of mental health issues we push people towards professional services, yet in my experience, these have often been lacking. I know my mother’s love gave me an inner resilience that allowed me to bounce back from every knock down. I know not everyone will have this resilience so easily available to them and hence I want to help anyone who may need that little bit extra help to get through.

You are not alone.

You will heal.

You can do this!

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